Saturday afternoon, I’m sitting next to Henry in the car and suddenly I realize that I’m already in the 31st week of pregnancy. It takes over me, I get restless and panic spreads. I can’t tell you why or why – but the realization that the week change to the 31st week of pregnancy is imminent and that the birth is not far off, overrun me. Suddenly there are fears that were previously completely foreign to me.
“It could start in 5 weeks! That’s when the readiness begins. ”I say to Henry and I get very scared. “In 5 weeks, are you aware of that?” Real panic overwhelms me. As much as I rest in myself during this pregnancy, suddenly I am insecure and full of fear. I feel unprepared, yes, not at all ready for the little boy. Well, yes, but the general conditions suddenly seem unsuitable to me. So much is changing. Changes are imminent. Changes that I have wished for for so long, but which now suddenly just frighten me. All of a sudden I keep wondering if I really want all of this. Isn’t that all too many changes at once for me? Whether I’m up to it. I get cold feet. Cold feet, yes I think that hits it on the head. Not in relation to our baby, but rather because of everything that is going on around us.
I’m so excited for our baby. I can’t wait to hold the little boy in my arms. I really want to get to know him, cuddle him, sniff him, feel the tender baby skin. I’m so incredibly looking forward to all of this. And yet everything is going too fast for me. Way too fast. I just want to press the “stop” button, shout “stop” loudly and pause. I need more time. Time for me, time with the baby in my stomach and, above all, time to accept all the upcoming changes. And above all I want to make our nest pretty for the little human being and prepare everything for the little boy’s arrival. Because so far there has hardly been time. But I will consciously take this time from mid-June or early July at the latest. I want to celebrate the preparations more consciously for us, leave room for anticipation and enjoy them to the fullest.
How far am i
Since Sunday I’m in the 31st week of pregnancy. And fear mixes with the anticipation. Everything is going so fast now and I have the feeling that I cannot keep up. Not being prepared well enough. Nothing is ready, we haven’t had a lot of thought so far – because everyday life often doesn’t allow it or we live too much in the now.
Hello fat belly, weight?
76.8 kg says the scales. I weighed myself just once for you. That is a total of almost 17 kg plus since the start of pregnancy. Hmm I would be lying if I said now that I think that’s good. I think 17 kg is such an incredible number again. And that, although I really try to eat healthy and balanced. Of course I also snack, but I eat so much fruit and vegetables and salad, relatively few carbohydrates because I usually just don’t feel like it afterwards. Although I can’t say no to a nice baked potato, haha. Well Let’s see how much more is added.
Has the belly grown? I can’t say that myself. I have the feeling that not so much has changed in the last week. Henry, on the other hand, thinks the sphere will keep getting bigger.
Nothing new was added this week. However, I have noticed that many of my maternity clothes barely fit. Often the dresses in the front are too short. I ask myself: How can that be with maternity wear that I bought especially for the time with a big belly. It’s kind of annoying.
Newcomers for the baby?
Nothing new has moved in for the baby. But I still urgently need bodysuits, socks, tights, a hat, an extra bed and a cradle. A new still moon, there is nothing better, should also move in. Then of course I would also like to decorate a little, as part of the nest building instinct. And I’m looking for a nice music box.
Do I have stretch marks?
Yes, I have them. My old stripes are very tight. But who is surprised, the stomach is growing properly again and the skin is stressed accordingly.
How do i sleep Sleep behavior?
Sleep has been in short supply this week. But what was because our little mouse tooth just slept really badly. She was always awake or we just rocked, carried, petted or cuddled her half the night. After she was so slain yesterday, we suspect that she struggled with her molars. I need to catch up on some sleep now, haha.
My favorite moment of the week
Family time. We spent a lot of time together. Henry is trying to be here as much as possible right now and I am enjoying that very much. We do a lot, go for walks, spend a lot of time together. And then there was the overnight stay at the Hyatt in Düsseldorf last week. The room was just so incredibly incredibly beautiful, the view. I was really looking forward to a hole in the stomach.
Was there a moment of shock this week?
No, thank God there was no moment of shock this week. Once I had such severe labor pains that I was almost unsure whether it was really labor pains or more. After a phone call with the midwife, however, we knew that labor pains get stronger with every child and can be very painful for child number 3. Yes, they were too.
Do I feel child movements?
Just last night Henry and I were talking about the little boy inside. He moves a lot and likes to move, but very different from Mimi, for example. The memory is still very fresh. Mimi has always been very temperamental in her stomach. The little boy is on the move rather gently, moves a lot, but very smoothly.
Do I have food cravings?
Ice cream, strawberries, watermelon and ice cream. Ice, ice and ice. And strawberries.
Do I have aversions to certain foods, smells or the like?
Are there any first signs of birth?
Aside from the practice contractions, none. And that’s how it should be in the best case scenario.
Water retention. It’s totally crazy, but I kept accumulating a lot of water that sometimes you can’t see ankles or knees. It’s painful and not nice. Otherwise I’m doing very well. I feel fit and healthy. My back gives me a little trouble in bed. But only there. Like I said, I think it’s time for a new mattress.
Belly button, in or out?
Navel? What is it haha.
I’m a little torn. My emotional state is like a ride on the roller coaster – an up and down. And as reluctantly as I say it, I currently feel as extremely thin-skinned and moody. I’m often very moody with Henry in particular and then actually can’t explain it to myself. The hormones seem to have me fully under control. And I am often annoyed by myself. Hello hormones, you are welcome to calm down. All in all, however, I am very happy and feel grounded.